


Check Please! Alternate Universes

by galaxieboy



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universes, Angst, Fluff, M/M, Multi, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-12
Updated: 2016-10-15
Packaged: 2018-08-22 02:40:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8269567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galaxieboy/pseuds/galaxieboy
Summary: this is just some little check please! blurbs that i've sent my friends





	1. part 1

**Author's Note:**

> warning:  
> -there are multiple instances where a main character is dead or killed.  
> -multiple instances where an injury is described  
> -multiple instances when an overdose is described/mentioned
> 
> note: the three dashes between different paragraphs mark the start of a completely different AU. 
> 
> this was all written on my phone, so correct grammar and capitalization wont be in here

au where jacks deaf

 

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au where when bitty got his concussion he got some memory loss and forgot he liked jack so he had to go through his feelings for jack all over again

 

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au where when jack OD'd he hit his head on the counter when he fell and had memory loss and is at samwell to relearn hockey, instead of why hes there now

 

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au where jacks /that guy/ who brings a guitar playing wonderwall, but only bc he genuinely likes the song

 

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au where jacks deaf and bittys mute and they totally bond faster over their use of sign language and since theyre bonding faster they get together during bittys sophomore year and flash forward to when theyre both out of college and having a romantic dinner date at home, afterwards jack takes bittys hand and kneels down and says "bitty, i have loved you since freshman year, can i love you the rest of my life?" and its a little slurred because while hes been practicing with his instructor he cant actually tell the sounds apart and he pulls out a ring and bittys crying and his mouth is floundering to make any sound any squeak of joy and he nods and signs "yes yes yes!!" and jack kisses bitty with all his might

 

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what if chowder grew up in michigan and the reason he really likes the san jose sharks is because when he was little he thought sharks lived in the great lakes and he was scared of them and his parents used the sharks hockey team to show him how cool sharks are

 

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GUYS OKAY LISTEN LOVE ON TOP BY BEYONCE PERFECTLY DESCRIBES MONDAYS UPDATE HERES WHY: JACK FINALLY PUT "love on top" HE PRIORITIZED BITTY OVER HOCKEY AND WAS THE ONE TO SUGGEST COMING OUT FIRST. "nothings perfect but its worth it" BITTY WOULD RATHER BE OUT BUT HE LOVES JACK SO HE DEALS WITH IT "after fighting through my tears finally you put me first" BITTY CRYING ON THE PHONE BECAUSE HE WANTS TO COME OUT BUT HE KNOWS ITS NOT HIS DECISION TO MAKE BUT THEN JACK COMES TO THE HAUS IN THE POURING RAIN TO TELL HIM HOW MUCH HE MEANS TO JACK "come on baby its you" IS JACK TELLING BITTY TRULY HOW MUCH HE MEANS TO JACK "youre the one i always call" IS BITTY REPLYING TO JACK SAYING HE CAN ALWAYS CALL HIM

 

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imagine jack and bitty breaking up from the phone call and jack gets in a really bad place bc of his anxiety (more on this later but jack totally has other mental illnesses) and he starts taking anxiety pills and more and more of them bc he just wants everything to stop and bitty has straight up stopped baking bc everything reminds him of jack when hes baking

 

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au where the falconers take tater out for his bday and snowy is a stripper who works at the club and they start a relationship but snowy thinks hes just in it for the sex cue angsty "why are you still with me?" from snowy and tater decides they should start fresh bc he genuinely likes snowy but he doesnt want him thinking hes just in it for the sex so tater takes him out on new dates for better memories

 

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SINGLE DAD SHITTY WHO ADOPTS EVERY AND ANY CHILD HE CAN SHITTY WHO EDUCATES HIS KIDS AND HES SO PROUD WHEN HIS KIDS GET DETENTION FOR STICKING UP FOR OTHER KIDS WHO WERE BEING BULLIED

SHITTY WHO CHEERS EMBARRASSINGLY LOUD FOR HIS KIDS AT WHATEVER EVENT THEYRE DOING

SHITTY WHO BRINGS WEED BROWNIES AND ALL THE MOMS THANK GOD AND JESUS FOR B SHITTY KNIGHT

shitty whos still in the pta when his kids are in highschool and teaches them abt edibles and drugs in a healthy respectful environment

SHITTY WHO TEACHES HIS KIDS HOW TO MAKE TUB JUICE BEFORE THEY LEAVE FOR COLLEGE

 

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okay so what if when jack gets clipped with the puck it hits his neck and cuts his vocal cords and hes not able to talk again

 

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what if bitty & jack get together earlier than they did and when bitty gets his concussion he forgets hes with jack and jack doesnt want to force their relationship so bitty has to go through pining over jack all over again and jack cries himself to sleep every night bc he cant be with bitty until he either remembers or he initiates it

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yall what if bitty does this elaborate proposal with a big band and so many flowers just to have jack run away from the proposal bc hes so worried that hes forcing bitty to stay with him even though bittys the one proposing. what if jacks the one proposing to bitty and half way through the big scheme he has an anxiety attack bc now he cant stop thinking that hes forcing bitty to stay with him

 

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WHAT IF JACK AND BITTY BREAK UP AND JACK STARTS PLAYING A BREAKUP PLAYLIST BUT SANDCASTLES BY BEYONCE COMES ON AND HE THROWS HIS PHONE OUT THE WINDOW

 

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WHAT IF JACK NEVER LISTENED TO HIS DAD AND LISTENED TO HIS ANXIETY ON GRADUATION DAY AND THEY NEVER GOT TOGETHER

what if that happened and once jacks visiting the haus on an off day (and he wants to tell bitty his feelings) but he sees bitty out on a date at Annies and jack runs to the empty faber and runs suicides for the rest of the day

what if bitty was only on a date with that guy to get over jack but he sees jack run off to the faber and he leaves his date to go check on jack and when he sneaks into the faber he sees all the anger and sadness that jack is putting into the suicides

 

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imagine jack has really bad short term memory and so hes always forgetting little things hes already done and so bitty starts leaving notes around their house (yes this is a future au) but then as jack and bitty get older jack starts to develop dementia and one day, he forgets hes married to bitty and starts having an anxiety attack bc some strange man is kissing him and while hes cute he doesn't remember ever dating someone

 

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what if bittys on his way up to see jack in providence and his car gets t-boned in an inner section and he dies and jack doesnt find out what happened until he calls bittys phone and an EMT answers and tells him what happened. now imagine jack proposing to bittys headstone and burying the ring in front of the headstone.

imagine @ bittys funeral bittys parents decide to play halo by beyonce bc angels & also he loved beyonce but they didnt know he was dating jack and so when that song plays jack loses it and he hides in the bathroom the rest of the time because he cant do it anymore without bitty.

imagine that jack tells the smh team that he and bitty where dating and hes crying in the bathroom and jack confesses that hes thought about taking pills again to help calm him since bitty cant anymore and that really scared smh bc they thunk jack'll OD again and jack knows that theyre thinking this and hes so far gone he honestly doesnt care anymore.

yeah, ransom and holster both go catatonic, chowder cant stop crying, shitty sits next to jack and puts his head in his hands, dex and nursey hold each other, lardo leaves and comes back two hours later with a painting of bitty as an angel and gives it to jack her face is weirdly red. but jack. jack lost his first and only love. jack doesnt think he'll survive without bitty, so he doesnt want to. he becomes more reckless out on the ice, getting into more fights, taking riskier plays. imagine during a break during a game, you know how they play music?

imagine they play halo during one of the breaks and jack straight up leaves the game and cries to himself in the locker room until the game is over.

 

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imagine it wasnt bitty who died in the car crash, it was jack. jack, who conquered addiction, an overdose, who was so in love with the man he loves that he bought a ring two months into dating him. jack, who wont get to grow old with bitty. now think of bitty, the man he loves died, he'll never be held by his big strong arms again, he'll never get to chirp his love for his accent, they'll never get to experience their wedding. now, imagine the last thing that bitty said to jack wasnt "i love you" it was "*chuckle* stop saying pecan wrong!" because jack was out at the store with a list. bitty always regrets that. he always regrets not saying he loves jack. and he cant ever bake another pecan pie again let alone look at or eat one

 

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bc u guys don't appreciate my angst, have some more: imagine bitty does get fired from the team and loses his scholarship. he has to move back home with his parents

 

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imagine that bitty and jack break up and jacks at a game and trying so hard not to cry bc everything reminds him of bitty, and then during a game break, they play When I Was Your Man by Bruno Mars over the speakers (bc they play songs) and jack loses it and hes crying silently in him helmet and then after the game his teammates ask if the reason he was crying is bc he and his girlfriend broke up and that makes jack cry harder bc he never got to come out to his teammates with bitty

 

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au where jack and bitty switch ages and bitty goes to the q before jack and they get put on the falconers (bc plot) and they work really fucking well together and if/when they get traded its required that they both go together bc once they were traded to separate teams and they both werent half as good apart as they were together and its at this point that theyre together now and they come out to the world by winning the stanley cup and kissing in celebration and then bitty gets down on one skate and pulls a ring out of the cup. jack swears up and down he didnt cry. bitty has video proof

 

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now imagine that bitty moves back home to save up money for his bakery after he graduates and so he sees jack 10000% less and jack breaks up with bitty "so hes not tied down to someone he never sees"

 

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soulmate au where jack didnt survive his OD and bitty never feels whole bc his soulmate died

 

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soulmate au where up until jacks OD, bitty had the words "eat more protein" on his wrist and hed always rub those words for comfort. but when bittys 13, the words fade off of his skin, only leaving fresh blank skin in their place, theres now a scar of the words where they once were. that day, in school, bitty collapses with pain and sadness and he cant stop crying and screaming in pain bc it physically hurts to lose your soulmate

 

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UHM ZIMBITS/ BITTY&HOLSTER HAMILTON AU WHERE JACK IS ELIZA HOLSTER IS ANGELICA AND BITTY IS HAMILTON AND NOW LISTEN TO HELPLESS WHILE THINKING OF THAT AND THEN LISTEN TO SATISFIED WHILE THINKING OF THAT

 

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au where everyone has two soulmates even platonic soulmates. jack has bitty and shitty (platonic), bitty has jack and holster, holster has bitty and ransom (open relationship). holster and jack are both crushin hard on bitty and obviously bitty has to choose. bitty choses jack. holsters heart breaks and he can barely pretend to be happy for them because he loves bitty so immensely and jacks his best friend but his heart aches every time he sees them even in the same room

 

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uhm imagine trans bitty who goes pro into the nhl on the falconers and becomes the first gay and trans nhl player and becomes world famous and jack still plays on the falconers with bitty but in his free time he does photography, and hes like, really good at it. he takes wonderful pictures of bitty sleeping in with the sunlight streaming in through the windows that perfectly illuminate him to look like an angel, and sometimes, when jack isnt playing during a game, the coaches will hand him his camera and he'll take action shots of his team mates (read: bitty) playing

 

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zimbits au based on Sandcastles by Beyonce

 

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angst au: jack has a flat ass no matter how hard he tries to work on it

 

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au where jack and bitty adopt all the fat dogs and cats from the shelter and they take all of their pets including the cats for a walk and jack ties the leashes around his waist like that one pic of daniel radcliff with the dogs

jack stops every time one of them start to sniff something and his 30 min runs turn into 2 hour runs

what if he trained the dogs to give bitty love notes

 

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Satisfied from Hamilton au where hamilton is ransom, eliza is march, and angelica is holster.

 

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au where when jack and bitty have the phone argument they break up and then the song When I Was Your Man by Bruno Mars is written from jack about how much he misses bitty

 

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au where jack gets his throat nicked by a skate and it cuts his vocal coat and he cant talk again imagine bitty crying silently to himself bc he'll never hear jack say bits in his accent and make it sound like "beets" and he'll never get to hear jack say 'i do'. now imagine the flip side. jack can never tell bitty he loves him he can never whisper praise to bitty when theyre making love.

 

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what if during a game a fight breaks out and bitty finally gains enough confidence to join in but he takes a skate to the throat in the midst of all the fighting and hes bleeding so much all over the ice and he manages to crawl away but hes clutching his throat and the coaches see him and doctors are rushed onto the ice and hes taken to the hospital to be treated but he dies from massive blood lose. now imagine that jack was at this game and he planned on coming out with bitty after this game.

 

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soulmate au where jack never went to samwell and never met bitty and when bitty gets to samwell theres an empty aching in his chest like somethings not quite right. same au but instead of just jack never going to samwell, he went into a coma after his OD and has never woken up

 

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au where not only was jack fat as a child, but he was born w/o a leg (he has one but not both) and bc he was fat and he doesnt have a leg he was way worse anxiety and this manifests into jack not running after bitty after graduation because he doesnt think that bitty would want to be with someone who doesnt have a leg and has a lot of stretch marks from when he was fat and jack thinks that hes so disgusting and that no one as perfect as bitty deserves to be with someone like him

 

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au where jack is blind. and hes so angry and sad at himself because he longs so badly to see bittys face but he cant

 

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au where jack is deaf, and all he wants to do is hear bitty's voice and bitty's laugh. bitty ends up learning ASL and they start dating and it's cute and no one gets hurt. uhm but what abt when hes having an anxiety attack after a practice and he cant communicate to his team that he needs bitty so he has to go through one by himself for the first time in months.

 

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(this gets a bit nsfw jsyk)  
au where bitty does modeling work to pay for college and he talking to alicia on the phone to get some tips but then they just start hanging out and gossiping abt whos the worst photographer to work with but then it spirals into bitty lowkey talking (thirsting) over jack and alicias like "why dont u ask him to be a photographer for u one time u & i both kno hes been doing it as a hobby (and he lowkey thirsts after u 2 go get some)" and so bittys like "yea alright" so he asks jack and jacks like "sure" but what jack doesnt know is that bitty does his shoots in the nude. like, his "bits" (heh) aren't photographed but basically everything else but his face is. so jacks like. highkey dying behind the camera and he finishes the job like a professional & then later that night bitty can hear loud french coming from jacks room and he thinks somethings wrong so he knocks on jacks door but jack doesnt answer so bitty opens his door to make sure everythings okay and he finds jack, ahem, jacking it (heh) to the pictures he took of bitty earlier & cue awkward jack apologizing but then bittys like "i gotta send alicia some flowers for this" and jack and bitty are now making out on jacks bed and they both cum in their pants and while bittys laying ontop of jack and theyre just holding each other, jack just looks up @ the ceiling & thanks his mom.

 

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me: listen. holser & bitty fuck anywhere & everywhere. its made a game in the haus. who ever catches them on accident gets a pie.

ONE TIME CHOWDER CAUGHT THEM GOING AT IT ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER WHILE A PIE WAS BAKING AND BITTY GAVE HIM THE PIE. RANSOM CALLED IT THE "SEX PIE".

friend (grace):

chowder: "bitty this cream pie tastes a bit different"

  
holster: *dying bc that come was used is a different cream pie 30 mins ago*

  
me:

yo what if chowder is like so not innocent and hes trying to fake his innocence with the pie but he knows. he knows what it is.

ok uhm but bitty always like my sweet son chowder! and chowders just thinking "i wanna fuck him and then eat his ass

 

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au where everything is the same except jack has Thicc™ thighs. oh wait


	2. part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i decided to make this an ongoing thing bc i never stop sending my friends little blurbs and yall seemed to enjoy the first part!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -warning for mentions of death  
> -warning for nsfw images (in the form of links)  
> -warning for drug mentions/overdoses  
> -warning for suicide mention

au where bitty does ballet/is really flexible. imagine bitty as this person, but to add to this: trans bitty. 

http://miglance.tumblr.com/post/151804923437 (nsfw image)

 

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au where jack used to ice skate & bitty has always done hockey

 

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au where both bitty & jack do ice skating for the olympics

friend (grace): ok but onw (1) time jack drops him and he starts freaking iutans bitty ends up getting hyet (not seriously) and jacks just ((:

me: uhm that but also imagine bitty had a really horrible old partner who would drop him on purpose if bitty didnt do a correct move and oh now look jack & bitty doing 4am skate practice

 

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au where bitty is jewish but has obviously had to hide it from his family bc he grew up in a very stereotypical southern household (christan, conservative, often closed minded) so when he was in highschool he started questioning his religious upbringing bc it didnt feel right & then boom. judaism. it felt right for him & still does. & then he goes to samwell, in the closet abt both his sexuality & his religion. until he meets adam birkholtz: his friend, teammate, and fellow jew. and bitty is just. so excited! to meet someone else! whos jewish! and imagine. them just hitting it off so well right off the bat. i mean, holster & ransom are so connected, but they were never able to really talk abt their religions bc ransom is agnostic & holster is jewish and both dont want to make the other uncomfortable. but bitty, could talk for days. he wants to be mroe educated on judaism, so over bittys first spring break, holster invites bitty over to his house (bc lbr holster is thirsty for bittys booty) to have his fam help bitty learn more. aaaannnddd maybe holster & bitty get a bit side-tracked from research once..,..,,,.. or twice..,.,,..,. or three times. and bitty and holster being so happy with each other when they celebrate channuka together for the first time as a couple. 

lisen. i lov jewish holster. so much. WHAT IF HE KNOWS FLUENT HEBREW

WHAT IF HOLSTER TEACHES BITTY HEBREW

friend (grace): SO LIKE HOLSTER TEACHES BITTY HEBREW AND HES TRYING TO SAY HANNUKKAH AND W THAT U GORRA MAKE THIS CHA SOUND IN UR THROAR ABD BITTY TRIES ABD STARTS COUGHING

me: NSJSJSJDJD WHAT IF BITTYS FLUENT BUT HIS SOUTHERN ACCENT COMPLETELY BUTCHERS THE LANGUAGE

imagine bitty in madison trying to secretly learn about judaism and the culture but he has to be careful abt it bc his fam  
is hella conservative and hes worried that his religion aside, hes worried that his sexuality goes against his religion and he starts having a crisis bc he loves his religion but he also knows that he cant change his sexuality and so he frets and worries and starts thinking that he has to decide between the two but then he gets to samwell and meets openly gay and jewish holster and he starts thinking that maybe he can be both and he comes out to holster first and holster is so proud of him but then bitty starts getting the Gay™ thoughts for holster and he starts worrying all over again bc holster wouldnt want someone like bitty but then at a kegster holster kisses bitty so gently and sweetly that bitty knows its not from the alcohol

 

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au idea: ransom, but 5' 2" & holster is still 6' 4"

 

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me:

listen. how funny would it be if jack & bitty are out at a fancy dinner and then they propose to each other at the same time. 

like. jack goes to the bathroom to hype himself up and when he gets back they both simultaneously get down on one knee and ask the other too marry them. and now theyre laughing in a very fancy restaurant very loudly and everyones staring at them and then they both say yes at the same time and they crying harder from joy and the hilarity of the situation

i cant decide if jack and bitty would get married the next day at the closest court house in board shorts and tank tops and tear streaked faced and faint bruises crawling up each others neck, or if they would plan an extravagant wedding with bespoke suits and each family member strategically placed away from their rival and color coordinated center pieces.

 

jack (friend): 

hmmmmm this is a tough one, it could be either tbh depending on their mood ?? as long as they're together ?? but then again, bitty rly wants to get married so it might be an extravagant thing because jack will do anything to make bitty happy ??

 

me: 

this is true, jack would go 110% on the wedding. but consider this: 0% jack zimmermann. he doesnt care where or when or how fancy the wedding is as long as hes with bitty and bitty just wants to be with jack. so what if the day after the proposal they show up to the court house in pj pants and the others hockey team shirt and they get legally married and the officiator takes some pictures for them. but later that day when theyre eating store bought cake (bc bitty is doing 0 baking today) out of the carton that they realize that they also wanted a huge wedding. so they keep the legal wedding from everyone else and they just tell them that theyre fiances and they have their teams help them plan their extravagant wedding and on their 20th anniversary they finally tell their friends when they really got married and they show them the pics that the officiator took and their friends chirp them for being too adorable bc they wore the others hockey team shirt. 

 

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okay listen.  
-both tater & snowy are switches and it works out real well bc sometimes snowy wants to be fucked hard and fast and be manhandled but other times he wants to grab handfuls of taters pert ass and make him scream out by how fast hes going. but sometimes they both want to top and so it turns into a "who can get the other to come first" fucking match and theyre always flipping the other onto his back and its always fast and hard and heavy. but other times they both wanna bottom and its times like this that they both lay stomach up on the bed and fuck eachother with a double ended dildo.  
-snowy is a size queen.  
-tater is a grower and a shower. he shows his girth & hes thicc asf but he goes from like mayybee 3 inches soft to fucking 12inches fully hard.  
-tater once fucked snowy with his dick, two other dildos, three vibes on snows dick, and one around taters dick.  
-snowy keeps his beard bc tater constantly wants beard burn on his thighs  
-tater loves being tied up  
-snowy once made tater come six times consecutively  
-one time snowy spanked tater so hard with their paddle not only did the paddle break but it lowkey broke the skin & the next day at practice tater & snowy got chirped so hard (but jay-z was happy bc he was trying to hide all his hickeys too so)  
-speaking of hickeys tater is a fucking vampire/leech hybrid and snowy always has at least five on his body at all times  
-they also bought a full length mirror bc tater loves seeing his dick disappear into snowys ass when snowy rides him

 

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wheres my 'manager bitty & actual burger king robber jack' au

 

\---

 

grace: 

bitty being rlly scared of jack saying i love you too early bc hes worried that bc hes never been in a relationship he doesnt know what real love is

 

me:

what abt jack 110% zimmermann says that he loves bitty within the first week. and bitty, a closeted gay boy from the south, doesnt say it back. jack says it every day and bitty nods and kisses jacks cheek each time. but eventually, jack confronts bitty about this and asks him if he doesnt love jack and bitty starts crying and explains that he does love jack but hes never really experienced love and he doesnt want jack to say something hed regret like loving bitty. and jack cries and holds bitty and tells him he loves his so so so much. and bitty cries and kisses jack and tells him he loves him

 

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anyway i love angst wheres my "jacks in love with bitty but bitty already moved on and is over him at graduation" au

wheres the part of that au where jack still kisses bitty but bitty tells him that he moved on

 

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au where bitty is in montréal with jack and theyre skating on jacks pond (lake) and bitty skates over thin ice and falls through and jack doesnt save him in time and he dies from exposure

 

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firefighter au but w bitty and jack instead of ransom and holster and bitty is the one who dies

 

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grace: 

au where botty and jack are soulmates but bitty commits suicide when hes still in georgia bc of the bullying and jack collapses on the ice

 

me: 

maybe jacks in the middle of a game when that happens & thats how everyone thinks he did drugs

like. maybe the pain of losing his soulmate causes jack to go into a short coma and then everyone thinks its drugs and jack lets then think that bc he also has the name of his soulmate and hed rather let them think hes an addict than gay

 

\---

 

okay listen so i was lowkey lookin through the blog zimbitspornlookalikes & one of the gifs that was rb'd looked like bitty and sidney crosby and now i cant stop thinking abt an au where bitty works as a camboy to pay for school and when jack and bitty get together they still have an open sexual relationship but bitty only works with nhl players to pay for schooling and the whole point of this is that one night after bittys done with crosby he takes a selfie with sidneys ass and hes makin


End file.
